Ep. 73: Finding Business Harmony by Embracing Your Authenticity | Expert Guest Lisa Aranas

Join me live: Live Workshop: Craft a Winning Business One-liner | May 22 at 12pm CST

We're continuing our branding series and diving into the importance of authenticity in your brand.

Discover the transformative power of aligning business with your true self! Dive into our candid chat as we explore the magnetic allure of authenticity—how it attracts the right clients and repels the wrong ones. Learn from our journey through personal healing to ignite professional growth. Trust your gut, embrace intuition, and share this journey with others.

Biggest Takeaways:

1. Align with Authenticity: Prioritize aligning your business with your core values. Use authentic marketing to attract suitable clients and repel those who aren’t a good fit, enhancing both satisfaction and sustainability.
2. Listen to Your Intuition: Emphasize the importance of trusting your intuition in decision-making. This ensures your business choices resonate with your true self, boosting both satisfaction and effectiveness.
3. Overcome Fear of Rejection: Address and overcome the fear of being disliked. By being true to yourself, you naturally attract the right opportunities and relationships, which are crucial for both personal and professional growth.
4. Apply Therapeutic Insights: Leverage insights from therapy to break through personal and professional barriers. These lessons help align your business operations more closely with your personal development, leading to improved business outcomes.
5. Focus on Energy and Healing: Consider the energy you invest in your business and ensure it aligns with your authentic self. Explore therapies like somatic work to deepen self-understanding and healing, enhancing your business relationships and practices.

Meet Lisa Aranas

Lisa Aranas, JD, LCPC, is a Life Coach and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. She is also a certified divorce and custody mediator, personal trainer, and holistic nutritionist.

Lisa has an MA in Family Counseling from Northeastern Illinois University and a JD in family Law from Loyola University Chicago School of Law.

For the past 20 years, she has devoted herself to doing what she loves best—bringing harmony and happiness to anyone whose life she can touch.

Website

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Transcript

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Building an Aligned Business

Speaker 1 0:33

It's a beautiful way to recognize , like , no matter what your struggle is in that moment , know that that is part of your growth process and if something is not feeling aligned , you don't want to keep pushing that , because that's actually going to take you in the wrong direction .

Speaker 2 0:50

Yeah , All right , folks , I'm getting real vulnerable with you . Today . I am actually sharing a conversation that I had with my own therapist , who helped me work through a lot of the blocks that I had around my business . When I came to her three years ago , I really felt like I didn't align , something did not align with my business and myself and it just felt like work . You know what I mean when something just feels like you're constantly going uphill , you're swimming against the tide , it just doesn't fit . That's what we're talking about today about how to build an aligned business and the art of attraction and repelling when it comes to client acquisition , because , as uncomfortable as it might be to say no sometimes to potential prospects , it's the best thing to do for your business , because you built it to have the business that you wanted to build . You created it for a reason , right , you didn't want to be a slave to the man anymore . You didn't want to sit in a cubicle anymore . You didn't want someone to force you to be somewhere nine to five if you didn't have work to do nine to five .

Speaker 2 2:08

There are lots of reasons that we start businesses . One of the main reasons that I believe people start their business is because they want something that they look forward to every Monday , they want to be excited for Monday , they want control over their lives and they want it to be exactly what they want it to be . But we get down this hole where it kind of turns back into that nine to five . We realize , oh , we need money , and we start chasing the dollars instead of the dream and it really needs to align and be a little bit of both . So that is what I'm talking to Lisa about today .

Speaker 2 2:51

Basically , you're going to walk away from this episode understanding why you need to be extremely authentic in your marketing to attract and repel the right people and to listen to your gut so your business aligns with your values and your purpose in life . It's a little deviation from the typical tiny marketing episode , but I know Lisa has helped me a ton and I think that she can help you too . So enjoy . I'm Sarah Noelle Block and this is Tiny Marketing . So let's first talk about why is it important to be authentic in your marketing . You worked with me on this because I felt like I had a split personality and that I had the corporate side of me and then I had the me side of me and you're like no , girl , no . So let's cut into that a little bit .

Speaker 1 3:48

Let me just back up a little bit and say that really , the point of life which we haven't exactly been taught is to be happy or peaceful , or content , and the model we have been given is a model that says work really hard , be successful in career , finances and everything I mean . A lot of the idea of arriving seems to be based on that roughly . My idea about what life is about is that's just a piece of it . We're here to feel fulfilled with what we're doing in our life , and we can only do that if we are in touch with our authentic self , which brings up a whole yeah , my first question is how the hell do you do that ?

Speaker 2 4:47

How do you get in touch with your authentic self ? You feel like you're being authentic and yourself , but the more you work through it , the more you realize well , this is the version of me that I feel comfortable with in public .

Speaker 1 5:03

It's not actually me you were sort of born , popped out right . You entered into a world that , at least in this society , isn't really about helping you become your authentic self . It's about you becoming your successful self .

Rediscovering Authentic Self Through Therapy

Speaker 1 5:30

And so we learn how we're supposed to think , what we should feel or not feel , how we're supposed to behave . These are values that are given to us , that don't necessarily align with us , but because we have to make sure that we are acceptable and behaving appropriately , so we're safe , because our parents and caregivers take care of us , we have to mold ourselves accordingly .

Speaker 1 6:01

But we don't know that we're doing that . We don't know that we're losing our true self . We're just doing what we're supposed to do in order to be okay . And then , of course , we all know society tells us messages about how we need to look and how we behave and so on . So we continue to lose that . So we're on this path to what we assume is the right path , but we're really not . And how we know that is when we enter all our issues of depression and anxiety or physical health starts to take a toll , and that really is our body's way of saying hey , girlfriend , what you're doing isn't quite aligning with who you really are and what you really want and need in this life .

Speaker 2 6:53

That reminds me I saw this meme on Instagram the other day . I swear I start half my sentences talking to you with that . It was if you don't choose a time to rest , your body will choose a time to rest think about every time you are doing something that doesn't fit for you .

Speaker 1 7:22

There's a tension in there , but if we believe that this is what we're supposed to do , we just keep going . But that stress builds in our body , yeah Right , and at some point it can only take so much until it starts to shout at us and tell us hey , hey . These are all you know , all signals going off to say we're not good in here .

Speaker 2 7:42

Yeah , yeah . I think that that is one of the like , biggest things that I've learned from you is how to listen to my body , and what I mean by that for anybody who's not like actively in therapy is like listening to your intuition and trusting your that where you're pulled to is the right way is the right place to be pulled to .

Speaker 1 8:12

A hundred percent , absolutely . A hundred percent , absolutely . And so , if you think about what you just said , we , what society tends to value is this and this is her brain she was pointing to for people listening , right , yeah ?

Speaker 1 8:32

The mind , the logic , the goal setting Right and this is the path . So we do it and , yes , we override the feeling that will pull to us and then this is how that ties to the authentic self feeling that will pull to us and then this is how that ties to the authentic self . If we don't feel good with ourselves , we won't follow through on what we feel pulled to do , because all the messages that come in that says , well , you're never going to be successful being an artist , you're never going to be okay with X or Y or Z , or I'm not good enough to do that , so I'm just going to go the safe and narrow path that I'm supposed to do . So you know , these are the ways we continue to keep ourselves in a box that's not the box we should be in .

Speaker 2 9:20

Yeah , yeah , it does . It holds so many people back because their brains are actively working against them . But our brains have been taught from the outside world to think in a certain way , so it's not actually what you think , it's what the world has told you to think , and that's influencing your behavior .

Speaker 1 9:43

That's right , there's a quote and I can't give credit because I don't know who said it , but the quote was who was I before the world told me who I was ?

Speaker 2 9:52

Yeah , I love that I'm constantly telling people is this you or is this the person who you are ? Post cracks , the cracks that you've gotten along the way you are post cracks , the cracks that you've gotten along the way .

Speaker 1 10:13

That's right . That's right .

Speaker 2 10:14

You know I joke and I say , you know , we all drank the Kool-Aid and we didn't even know we were drinking the Kool-Aid .

Speaker 1 10:17

So , really , whenever someone comes into therapy , no matter why they walk in the door , all I'm trying to do is to pull all that messaging . All I'm trying to do is to pull all that messaging I call it the muck or the mud off to find the real you , because the authentic you is in there .

Speaker 2 10:35

Yeah and I want to dig into that a little bit deeper with when you're presenting yourself to the world in a way that isn't authentic , why is it that you're attracting the wrong opportunities , the wrong clients ? Why does that happen and how can you stop it ?

Speaker 1 10:56

Okay , that's a great question . So I always think about the seed level of why you're doing what you're doing .

Healing and Authenticity in Business

Speaker 1 11:06

Now it's going to bring up a whole other topic , because the authentic self will come from a place of love , which is what will that ? I love me for who I am . I accept me for who I am , with all my flaws , with all my limitations or whatever . So oftentimes then we are doing something because it's coming from messaging of what we should be doing . I'm going to attract people , clients , situations that are going to continue reinforcing experiences from that place , which then will bring that level of some level , eventually , of tension , of discomfort , because you're here not aligned with who you really are , what you really want .

Speaker 2 12:10

Yes . Now , if you've been living your life and you don't realize that you've adapted to retain your safety , I'll say and you've adjusted who you are to protect yourself , but you don't realize it , how can you fix it ?

Speaker 1 12:32

Well , to therapy . It's not an easy fix . For some reason . This example is popping up in my mind to help people understand what I mean by you have the wrong stuff to you from a I use the word the wounded place , which is the inauthentic place . So , for example , imagine that you grow up and you feel that you're not good enough right , because that's kind of everybody's core wound , essentially . And imagine now you go into the world and you believe that you're not good enough and you see everybody seeing you that way . You will show up in a way that might be , for example , shy and quiet , and in which case there may be lots of people that won't gravitate towards you because you seem like your own little world versus someone who is outgoing and smiling and cheerful , right , people might be drawn to them . So your experience just kind of reinforces itself . And then you land with that . See , it's true , people don't really like me . So this is how and I can give you example after example about you just sort of reinforce what you already think about yourself .

Speaker 1 13:45

Okay , so to answer your question , there are no shortcuts . I wish there were , but you really have to get into the healing , we say , of the inner child , the wounded little girl or boy that resides within each of us . There are many methods to get there . Some people do meditation . Somatic work is one of the things I really enjoy and love doing in therapy . I think standard talk therapy , cognitive behavioral therapy , just talk about changing the mind is not sufficient , because we really have to get into honestly feeling the emotions that you experienced then that we shut down , and only by opening and getting access to those feelings and being able to process those and get them out of our body , literally that getting that energy out of our body it's a huge part of it .

Speaker 1 14:50

And the other thing that has been very successful in my work is then having people re-script what happened in the . So , for example , you had a mother or father or grandmother whoever it is that was horribly abusive to you , right ? One of the ways you can re-script it is you can change who your grandmother was or who your mother and father were . You can help them understand what they've done , and then they're sorry and they apologize and they parent you differently . So you rewrite a full story of what your past was to what you want it to be .

Speaker 1 15:32

And here's the really interesting thing . I don't study energy and all of that . But we are walking around with the energy of something that happened in the past . Right , and that's all it is . It's just energy . Now , even the memory is just a memory or energy . So when you go back and you create this other experience , you literally change the energy in your body . So when we do these types of sessions and people will say , wow , I feel light , lighter , something along those words , even though the process of going through that is pretty heavy duty . It's very exhausting because you're allowing yourself to feel the things that you weren't allowed to feel or weren't able to feel because you had to be pressed . I mean , the brain just does that for us in some ways to keep us safe .

Speaker 2 16:20

Yeah , my experience with body work and somatic has's . You said there's no shortcuts . That's the closest thing I've found to a shortcut . It does move the process along so much faster and it it feels like unlocking a superpower , because you you essentially unlock your intuition and you're able to be more aligned and build your business in a way that feels better for you . It's like having a board of directors in your gut , like this is the direction to go .

Speaker 1 17:00

I love that you described it that way . Absolutely , because when you get , when , basically when you clear off the muck , what you're doing is you're getting rid of those messages that were given to you and , remember I said , your authentic self really is in there , start to really can learn to trust how you feel and you start to learn to listen to it and , of course , more importantly , do something about the feeling you have . Do something about the feeling you have , and the more you do that , the more you see how that feels . It's very empowering .

Speaker 2 17:34

Empowering and authentic ? Exactly yes , and after doing this work with you for years now , it really did open up so much to me . My offers became more aligned , money flowed so much easier and I mean , I was going for something completely different that triggered you accordingly but what you were told you were with .

Speaker 2 18:04

Yeah , you know the way you work . You go in the direction you feel called to go . So we ended up going in that direction . But it made a big difference in my business and just my confidence in my own decisions , being able to act fast , which I was just listening to another podcast , not about therapy , but it was about how billionaires constantly equate their success to the ability to take action fast . So when you are able to trust your instincts quicker , you're able to act fast and you end up making more money . Not that that's the point , Lisa , I know . Thank you , but for the sake of a business podcast , they do care the people who are listening .

Speaker 1 19:02

Well , absolutely , and listen right , I own this business and in time I too transformed from thinking you know how I'm supposed to do this , what I should do . And I learned to let go all of that and then trust . My intuition was shit . And I mean , I got to say and when I say that , you know , I had an empty office for a while and I knew at some point I'd be ready . And I said , well , I will just wait until I feel that pull . And as soon as I felt the pull , I'm like , okay , let's get an ad out there .

Speaker 1 19:42

I didn't do much . I was putting in deed , I didn't even try , I didn't pay money to advertise it , it was a free one . And I'm like , okay , and then the right person will come along . And they did . And the other therapist , I have same thing , it's exactly how I did and it's beautiful and I don't market right . People may ask me like well , what are your business goals ? I don't have any , except to just keep listening to the guidance and following that . And it is amazingly simple , just flowing and the right people come my way . It's magic , and I wish I had a different one . It must feel magical .

Speaker 2 20:24

Yeah , you're going to laugh , but I saw this meme on Instagram the other day and it was I don't want normal , I want magic , and that's exactly what this feels like . There you go , really want to just touch on how people can move past the fact that you want to repel too , not just attract . You want to repel because so many people have this deep-seated fear of being disliked . But shit , no one's going like . Not everyone is going to like you and , trust me , not everyone likes me , and it's okay . But how do we get people to a place where they're comfortable with the fact that I'm going to repel some people by being my authentic self , and that's okay .

Speaker 1 22:16

Well , I would say this , and you probably have our experience in it , because you're like well , I know there's some people who don't like me , and that's okay . So how you got there is when you're good with you . So that being authentic ultimately means to a good enough degree that I like who I am . It's that self-acceptance and that really that's on , that unconditional self-acceptance that says I am who I am and I love who I am and I could just be me , and it's so simple . Then , when you're just you , then you also know that there are going to be people who are drawn to you and there'll be people who are not . Just like you're not drawn to everybody , and it's not because you think they're a bad person , there's just some energy about them that just mismatch for you .

Speaker 1 23:08

Just doesn't vibe . Just doesn't vibe , man , and that's okay . So , when you're in your authentic self , what you're going to do is automatically begin to attract the people that vibe with you . You don't even have to think about repelling , because it's not something you do , it just happens , right . And so we also say outside of the business , even in the personal world , right , as you change and , as I say , your vibration increases or gets lighter , the people around you who no longer match where you're at , they will also start to fall away or they will also change . So it's no different in the business world . I mean , it's all the same , right , it's just a different space , but the same thing is happening .

Speaker 2 23:58

Yeah , I had something to add , but I can't remember what it is . Now it's important . What was it ? I'll cut my meandering later .

Speaker 1 24:15

We were talking about attracting and repelling .

Speaker 2 24:20

It was something about being okay with being disliked , I don't know . Oh well , I guess it wasn't that important . If it is , I'll put it in the post .

Speaker 1 24:32

Okay . Something I would like people to really think about as well is that the people that you're going to help will come to you . You're not here to do business with everyone , and no one can do it the way you do it , and so that's the match . I'm not here to be everyone's therapist and there are countless therapists out there , and that's okay , right . I'm here to show up as my authentic self and those people that are going to be attracted to me , that I am meant to work with . That's what will happen .

Speaker 2 25:18

Yeah , oh , what I was going to say is you can feel it in your gut when an opportunity is wrong for you , a client is wrong for you , your vibrations are at a different level than the other person and you can't let that fear of money , that , what is the word , the , you know , the lack of like , the fear that you won't get money in the future , dictate your decisions . Right , right .

Speaker 1 25:55

So this is the trust part that we have to look right . So I would say that anyone that gets onto this path of being , even though they may struggle in and just trust it , they'll always be able to look back and say , ah okay , everything eventually worked out for me .

Speaker 1 26:21

And let's say , like we couldn't possibly plan it out as well as the universe . Right , I did say I was spiritual . Um , I look back and I see how my life was there and how it came here . And then there are these moments where I'm like , oh my God , why am I going through this ? But it's almost like that was the best way for me to learn and grow and to become more in my authentic and empowered self . So it's a beautiful way to recognize , like , no matter what your struggle is in that moment , know that that is part of your growth process and if something is not feeling aligned , you don't want to keep pushing that , because that's actually going to take you in the wrong direction .

Speaker 2 27:08

Yeah , yeah it will . And oftentimes . I was listening to another podcast . It was about consulting and they were talking about how so many people are afraid to stop doing an offer , for example , because they've already put so much money into advertising that offer but it's not working . But you lose more and more money if you don't just listen to what's happening . Pay attention to what's happening and cut your losses and be done with it . Just listen to your gut and say okay , goodbye .

Speaker 1 27:44

So I like to think , as money is just an exchange of energy , right , this is also something that I've , you know , moved into , and so if I am quote , selling the soul , selling my soul , draining my spirit , my energy for this energy that I actually don't want , and I know that because it doesn't feel right , Then how is that helpful for myself ? Yeah , and the only way we would keep doing that is out of fear , and so I imagine that , you know , most of your audience is not an audience that is struggling for daily needs to be .

Speaker 1 28:22

I understand this conversation would be different . If you're struggling with you know how am I going to pay my next bill ? Am I going to have proper food on the table , proper shelter and when I say proper , I don't mean , you know , has to be lots , just minimum , right , like you're above survival ? I guess that's what I'm saying .

Speaker 2 28:41

Yeah , there are things that you can do to figure out if you need money immediately , but if you are in a position where you can choose where you're making your money and most people who are listening to this are because they're either business owners that have established or they're working in marketing departments for businesses , so you're not fearful of losing your home Follow your gut and let that guide your business direction .

Speaker 2 29:19

Absolutely business direction . Absolutely

Empowering Business Direction

Speaker 2 29:26

All right , beautiful humans . That wraps up my conversation with Lisa . I hope , by the end of that conversation , that you walked away with some actionable steps you can take to feel more aligned with your business and the permission that you are allowed to say no and you are allowed to listen to your gut , because your gut is so much smarter than you realize . Trust your instincts , okay , people , I trust yours and you should too . If you enjoyed this episode , please like , subscribe , comment , write a review , all that jazz and hit that share button more than anything else . Hit that share button and let other people know that this episode impacted your life . You loved it and it's making you a better business owner . All right , I'll see you next time .